| Communication is often difficult between | | | | the glass top that mysteriously breaks every |
| colleagues, bosses and clients. Throw in some | | | | month. Who cares if can only be replaced by |
| obstacles like challenging personalities, stress, or | | | | shopping from the discount camping gear catalog. |
| physical illness and the chances of | | | | Occasionally you might have to step into the |
| miscommunication rises exponentially. | | | | reality of that somewhat eccentric co-worker in |
| I spent the better part of nine years caring for | | | | order to have a meaningful conversation. Just |
| close relatives who, in addition to bringing the | | | | remember to step back into your own crazy |
| above obstacles to our conversations, were all in | | | | reality. |
| their eighties and nineties. Holidays meant hours | | | | - Let them do what they want. As long as it isn't |
| with four, five or six of them at a time. I'm only | | | | going to put them in imminent danger, burn the |
| sorry I didn't record the conversations--I would | | | | house down or cause them to lose a bundle of |
| have had enough material for my own comedy | | | | money to a telemarketer. In my father's case, he |
| show. | | | | couldn't hear the marketer and just yelled "who is |
| Here's what I've learned from conversing with | | | | it" into the phone long enough to put him on the |
| octo- and nonagenarians that can be applied to | | | | "never call this number again" list. Imminent danger |
| just about any age or conversation: | | | | included talking him down off the roof while |
| - Speak clearly and with a bit more volume. | | | | attempting to wangle the antenna into submission |
| Unless you're speaking to my 93-year-old father | | | | or preventing him from putting metal objects in |
| who denied he had a severe hearing loss. | | | | the microwave.This tip applies to bosses, |
| According to him no one spoke loud enough. Think | | | | colleagues and kids. Let them do what they want |
| cell phone in a night club and you'll get the idea. I'm | | | | they're going to anyway. |
| not suggesting you yell to be effective but do | | | | - Know when to walk away. I admit this was a |
| speak with emphasis as appropriate. | | | | challenge for me. But when lunacy began to |
| - Look them directly in the face. Enunciation, | | | | describe my own behavior I knew it was time to |
| hearing loss or dementia often means they'll only | | | | get up and leave. Some things are |
| hear every fifth word. "Did you bring the bread" | | | | unacceptable-abuse comes to mind. If after |
| easily becomes "I heard what you said!" I bet you | | | | making an assertive request to refrain from such |
| had a boss like that--with or without the dementia. | | | | conduct fails, it's acceptable to walk away. Your |
| Direct eye contact is a part of active listening--an | | | | sanity is more important even if it costs a |
| essential communication skill. | | | | relationship or a job. Communication is largely an |
| - Step into their reality. Does it really matter that | | | | act of patience and extraordinary listening skills. |
| they insist on using a percolator coffee pot with | | | | |