| Every campground has their share of obnoxious | | | | your gas lantern for all your worth, then throw in |
| campers. Someone said, look to your left, to your | | | | a live match and enjoy the majesty of your own |
| right, in front of you, behind you, if you don’t | | | | atomic blast. If you keep the gas valve |
| see an obnoxious camper, you may be it. | | | | completely open, your campsite can serve as a |
| If you want to make sure you are that | | | | fiery beacon for other campers who may be lost, |
| obnoxious camper, just follow these ten trusted | | | | disoriented or under the impression they were |
| and proven tips: | | | | sleeping comfortably. |
| 1. Arrive at the campground very late after | | | | 6. Don’t practice setting up your tent at |
| everyone’s asleep. Drive around the entire | | | | home, so you can have a full blown |
| campground with your headlights on so you can | | | | Kramer-vs-Kramer style marital fight which pole |
| inspect each potential campsite fully. The blinding | | | | goes where first. Extra points for you if you |
| light may also serve to wake campers to make | | | | brought a tent with metal poles. Plastic poles just |
| shadow puppets inside their tent if they want. | | | | don't clang loudly enough when you throw the |
| 2. While you and your family carefully discuss and | | | | pole sack on the ground, trip over them and kick |
| weigh the merits of each site, including those | | | | them out of the way. |
| which are already taken feel free to idle your | | | | 7. Don’t feed your kids on time, so they will |
| engine at high RPM for long periods. | | | | stand and gawk at other campers eating. |
| 3. When you are backing your boat, camper or | | | | 8. Instead of the ingredients for s’mores bring |
| motor home into your parking space, have | | | | a small liquor store. And party all night. With the |
| someone in your party shout directions loudly and | | | | boom box on full blast, of course. |
| clearly. Keep at it, revving your engine, grinding | | | | 9. Make sure your camping party includes :a) |
| your reverse gear and spinning your tires in the | | | | drunks;b) someone with bronchitis, emphysema or |
| gravel until you get it exactly right, | | | | other loud hacking cough; andc) tired and cranky |
| 4. If things take longer than you planned, as they | | | | kid under the age of four. And finally, |
| often do in nature, take control by swearing | | | | 10. Don’t use a packing list. That way you can |
| obscenities. If your temper upsets the kids, even | | | | have opportunity to meet the neighbors when |
| better. It will ease the tension for everyone if you | | | | you need to beg and borrow toilet paper, |
| get them to cry. | | | | matches, eggs or bug spray. |
| 5. Leave directions for your gear at home. Pump | | | | |